By: Ana Laura Arias Reza

CoFounder

AIM GROUP

My dear Ana Laura,

I am “you,” albeit in a few years. I’m nervous about writing to you, but I am doing it because part of me feels that it might be therapeutic for me now, and another part hopes that my children will read it. There is just something permanent about the written word, compared to speech, that disappears in the wind. I want to share with them what I wish I had known. I hope it will be a wonderful and inspiring letter too. I hope they will like it more than the other “letters to myself” as their mom wrote it. I hope it will touch their spirit as it is written from my heart. There are so many more things I hope this letter will be, and yet I don’t know where to start… I am scared that I will disappoint, especially them, but I will not know if I don’t try.

Stop arguing so much with Mama. Time will show you that she was right in so many things. Although you don’t see it now, later in life, you will realize what an incredible pillar she was in your childhood and appreciate the sacrifices she made for you and your siblings. She is a wise woman. She is a woman that has been through a lot. Remember what you know about her childhood. Observe how she struggles every day for you. Try to step into her shoes and understand why she makes such an effort in, for lack of a better word, educate you. Don’t try to change her. Don’t think you know more than her. Let yourself be guided more, and you’ll have a much easier time.

You feel calmer with Papa. That is perfectly all right. He is lighthearted, talkative, and jovial. Value and treasure those traits more. Learn from him too. Just like Mama, he has been through a lot too, and he was always there for you when Mama was being too harsh. Be more affectionate with him (and with others). As you start showing him that you love him, you will discover a whole new side of him. Just because he is easygoing doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. He needs you more than you know. Listen to him more; he has a different kind of wisdom than Mama, but just as valuable.

Although your parents have gone through economically scarce times, it is not something that you can control.

What you can do is learn from it. You can become resilient. Every time you help your parents overcome the challenges posed by their fragile economy, you will realize how many things you are capable of. Make the obstacles your allies because they will help shape you into becoming the woman you one day will be. You still can only see some of your potential, but believe me, it’s a lot. So start believing in yourself and keep your head held high.

I know you don’t want your high school to end. You’ve had fun, laughed, and found good friends, but you can’t stay in high school forever. Stop wasting time hoarding memories when you have so much to live for. No, you’re not going to die at 25. This is not the best time of your life. Believe me when I tell you that I’m better at 45 than I ever was… in every way.

Before I get into the recommendations I want to share with you for your adult life, I will tell you the following; it may seem tedious but study more, much more. Focus on your studies, not just to get a passing grade. Spend more time learning another language. If you do not do it now, you will have to do it later in your life. You will have to do it anyway; if you wait, it will just cost you more time. Learn English. There will also be doors that won’t open for you. Or why not Danish? On second thought, that door will probably be open for you anyway, even if you don’t know a word of Danish. Read more, stand up straighter, be punctual, listen more, and talk less; these habits will make a difference in your life.

I am grateful for the difficult things that have happened to me. Thanks to them, I have discovered who I am and what I am capable of. I feel con- fident giving you the following advice:

– Get noticed

Learn to have confidence in yourself for you to be able to show others what you are capable of. This ability is something you should master because you should not expect others to notice you because of what you do. The trick is to learn how to communicate what you do well.

You will meet a person that notices everything you achieve, and he will also give you this advice. Take note of that conversation! Learn it quickly, and don’t forget it. If you don’t, one of two things will happen to you, either you go unnoticed, or someone else will show off your achievements; then you are back to square one, going unnoticed.

– Don’t doubt yourself

People are going to doubt you. Don’t worry about them; it speaks more about them than you. Never doubt yourself. When someone tells you that you can’t, it says more about their capacities than yours.

This is very important. If there is something you would like to achieve, just start looking for the way. Where there is a will, there is a way. When you meet someone you want to learn from, don’t be shy about looking them up.

– Friends and acquaintances

Mom is right, be careful of whom you befriend. Some people are friends; most are acquaintances. If you walk with the smart ones in class, it has a way of rubbing off on you and vice versa.

You must select what people you want to be part of your life. From time to time, you will have to leave those who don’t add anything positive and become closer to the ones who do. Those who remain will, in the end, be your true friends, where time or distance will have little effect on how much joy they bring. Hint: Traveling with these friends will be some of the best experiences in your life!

– Patience
If you feel that someone is advancing more quickly than you, don’t despair. It is not all about “advancing”; moreover, life has a way of rewarding resistance much more often than speed. Everyone has their path and times, and you do too. Don’t compare yourself to others. Remember Desiderata’s poem and why it made sense when you heard it. Until this day, you will treasure it.

– Always have goals

Success is achieved by people who have goals. Make sure you don’t lose your way because what you aimed for was left by the wayside. You will need two skills for this, discipline and will. If you have that, you will achieve anything you set yourself to.

– Learn to communicate

This might seem similar to “getting noticed,” but it is different. You need to develop your communication skills because when you speak, you are able to show the world who you are. You may think you already are good at communicating, but you still have much to learn. Don’t doubt yourself, and get to it!

– Be rational

Although your heart is essential, it is just as important to be rational about the decisions you must make in your life. It would be best if you found a balance. If you are ever in honest doubt, you should do two things; first, you should find that quiet place within yourself where you are able to manage your emotions, then listen to what your inner voice tells you to do. When you’ve done that, you have very rarely gone wrong.

Finally, I will share with you a few phrases that have helped us at certain times:

–  10% of conflicts are due to a difference of opinion the other 90% are due to the wrong tone of voice. (It’s not that you call me a bitch, it’s the bitchy way you say it)

–  If you don’t have anything kind to say, don’t say anything.

–  The important thing is not to have what you want but to want what you have.

–  The important thing is not what happens to you but how you react to what happens to you.

–  You are not what you achieve; you are what you overcome.

–  Gratitude is an expensive gift; do not expect it from cheap people.

–  Everything passes, both the good and the bad; nothing is eternal.

–  Dare to take away your fears!!!

I hope these lines are useful to whoever reads it and although I only mention the desiderata poem it will be a great contribution to whoever reads it